Look at the title of this blog. The Country Author. One would think I have a multitude of published novels in my resume. I have released one…yep, just one…novel over the last thirteen years and have been dealing with pangs of guilt for not producing more. Am I living a lie? Does it matter? This blog doesn’t have a large audience, so who cares?
I care, and I want to be transparent and accountable.
I’m sixty-two years old. Age is just a number, but sometimes I feel it’s more than that. I catch myself dwelling on my own mortality, convinced I’m falling short of my potential and don’t have a lot of time left to fulfill it. Sure, I can believe that statement or I can do something about it.
Does God want me obsessing over this? He wants us to have an abundant life, a fulfilled life. If we spend our days worried about the future and don’t make the most of today, we are falling short of who God created us to be. He doesn't want our minds muddled with things we don't have control over.
I’m taking a step of faith right now by posting my whole self on this blog. My worries, my obsessions, my dreams, and my faith. I’m done with the guilt over what I haven’t accomplished, and I’m ready to rinse the chaos from the slate of my life and start over. I'm ready to unmuddle my mind.
Heavenly Father, guide me through this process and use it to bless others.
To all my family and loved ones: Bear with me. If you believe in the power of prayer, lift me up. If you’re going through something similar, stand with me and we’ll tackle this together. If you’ve got it all together and can lend a hand, I’ll take it.
Leave a comment and let me know it’ll be okay, or tell me know how I can pray for you.
Stay tuned for State of the Muddled Mind Part Two