Monday, February 17, 2020

State of the Muddled Mind, Part One



Look at the title of this blog. The Country Author. One would think I have a multitude of published novels in my resume. I have released one…yep, just one…novel over the last thirteen years and have been dealing with pangs of guilt for not producing more. Am I living a lie? Does it matter? This blog doesn’t have a large audience, so who cares?
I care, and I want to be transparent and accountable.
I’m sixty-two years old. Age is just a number, but sometimes I feel it’s more than that. I catch myself dwelling on my own mortality, convinced I’m falling short of my potential and don’t have a lot of time left to fulfill it. Sure, I can believe that statement or I can do something about it.
Does God want me obsessing over this? He wants us to have an abundant life, a fulfilled life. If we spend our days worried about the future and don’t make the most of today, we are falling short of who God created us to be. He doesn't want our minds muddled with things we don't have control over.
I’m taking a step of faith right now by posting my whole self on this blog. My worries, my obsessions, my dreams, and my faith. I’m done with the guilt over what I haven’t accomplished, and I’m ready to rinse the chaos from the slate of my life and start over. I'm ready to unmuddle my mind.
Heavenly Father, guide me through this process and use it to bless others.
To all my family and loved ones: Bear with me. If you believe in the power of prayer, lift me up. If you’re going through something similar, stand with me and we’ll tackle this together. If you’ve got it all together and can lend a hand, I’ll take it. 
Leave a comment and let me know it’ll be okay, or tell me know how I can pray for you.
Stay tuned for State of the Muddled Mind Part Two

8 comments:

Vicki Friend said...

Hi Linda,
It's been a long time since we have been together, but know I often think of you and Robert and Michelle. Sorry you are struggling and I know you know who holds the answers. Sometimes in life we feel defeated, going backwards or just stagnant. You have lead a full life and have given and given, to so many others. But, I don't think God is saying, "ok, now its all you". No, we are always happiest when we are doing what Christ would have us do. Maybe that is sitting quietly reading a book, maybe its visting that shut-in at church, maybe its falling in love with our husband afresh. There are changes in life always, but be encouraged and be in His Word.
Sincerly,
Vicki Friend

SGoddard said...

Linda, you’re in my prayers! I can relate to some of what you’re saying; I question what my purpose for writing is, and have had to take time off from it too. I like what you said about how God doesn’t want our mind muddled with things we have no control over. Also it takes courage to be transparent and honest. Keep the faith and know He loves you deeply and is With you!

Deb Shirley said...

Precious writer friend, I will be praying for you. I can so relate to your blog. I’ve been in a similar state of mind for years. I’ve beat myself up more times than I can count. Teaching my SS class consumed me to the point that I spent all my time studying and very little time just resting in the Lord’s presence. Allow yourself a season to just be still and bask in His presence. And remember “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” We don’t live under the law trying to earn His acceptance. We live under grace and He loves us no matter what.

Connie Arnold said...

I think you are doing well, following your heart in what you should be doing, Linda. Now is what matters, the past is gone, we can’t know the future. May you feel God’s presence and peace in your writing of this blog and be blessed as you are blessing others.

Gma said...

Linda, your blog surprised me. I have always admired you and the fact that you have always had your life together. My perspective of you has alway and always will be the perfect woman, the best Mom, a top Christian a wonderful friend and most of all someone I have always wanted to be just like. You my friend are the most giving person I have ever met. If you are going through issues right now, you know who is watching out for you. I know how important your Christian life, family and friends have always been to you. Lean on any and all of us to help you through what ever is going on. Know that we are all sending prayers for you and your family as you work toward clarity in your lives. Love you girl. You know my number. Please send me your address so we can arrange a visit next time we come through. Unless you need me sooner and I will be on my way.
Love ya, Rita

Linda said...

Oh, my. I didn't expect this. Actually, I didn't know what to expect. Your words have both raised my spirits and humbled me. God is so good. Through you, He has given me an extra boost of confidence. Thank you all!

Unknown said...

Hi linda its me Michelle Karns ...Its interesting ...I'm a writer too and love my Lord with all my heart ..Love you girl ..and always will ...Michelle

Lara (Storm) Hitchcock said...

Linda, I’m so sorry for the struggles you’re going through. I also have stopped writing, whether for a season or forever. God has brought me faithfully through so many stresses and doubts, I can now say I don’t need my writing, only Him. But I still remember how dark and cold and hopeless it felt on the other side of sunrise, that moment when God brought me into the light and showed me how He had worked all my former struggles for good. I’m praying—though your natural eyes perceive only darkness—that He would enlighten the eyes of your heart. That you would know the hope of your calling, the riches of your inheritance in Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit at work within you. That He would give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation to know Him better. Because the more clearly our spiritual eyes behold Christ, the more the treasures of this earth fade away. I’m convinced that whatever He has in store for each one of us is far better than anything we can ask for or imagine. It’s hard giving up on something you love, but I pray what comes next would be even better. Sincerely, Lara